Grey Matters in May!

We can finally consider it spring.  We had our first day of 70 degrees on Friday and another today!  Oh, that felt wonderful!  It's been a very long winter.  Last year, at this time, we'd already had many warm days and Aly's pool was being installed.  This year, we don't even have the cover off yet.  It sounds like the 70 degree days are going to change into cold days, once again, this week.  We were hoping that a couple of days driving to  Lincoln, NE and back would keep us in the warmth, but it sounds like NE is also going to cool down.  We are going to pick up Tom, from college, on Wednesday and coming back Thursday.  Nothing like 2 days in the car!  He has completed year one.  I can't believe how that flew by.  Like all new college students he experienced some ups and some downs, but for the most part it seemed to go good.  I think it is hard to go wrong when you are studying something you love and are required to play in golf tournaments as part of your program!  He will return home and quickly start working at Medina Golf Club next Monday.  Also, a part of his program is an internship at a golf course, every summer!  Again, there should be no complaining there!

Moving on to May...May is BRAIN CANCER AWARENESS MONTH.  I am still in the process of raising funds for the Pediatric Brain Tumor Foundation's, Ride for Kids that will take place in July.  My goal is $500, not much when looking at the great scheme of things.  Please consider donating.  No donation is too small, if you can spare a single dollar, I'd appreciate it.  Here is the link to the donations page I have set up.  (Thank you to those who have already made contributions!!!)  

http://pbtf.convio.net/site/TR/2013RideforKids/General?px=1186085&pg=personal&fr_id=1220#.UXyEGxwRQY5

With the change of seasons, Aly has come down with either a cold or seasonal allergies.  She was feeling a bit miserable and stuffed up today.  Her mood has also been a challenge.  She is still feeling down in the dumps about friends.  She had a great time on her birthday.  She took a couple of new friends to a place where you can paint resin figures and we also went out for dinner.  The following week she had time with her cousins and aunts.  She's also had time with another new friend, some neighbor friends and she's reconnected with another girl, whom we met through cancer.  She is back on the swim team with Aly and they chat a lot during swimming.  It is nice to see, and I hope they can continue to get reconnected and talking.  Even with these events, she has her moments of sadness and worries that kids are trying to avoid her.  Sometimes, I can see why she feels that way, but other times she needs reminding that she's had time with friends and I keep pushing her to call the newer friends. Today, I was doing some spring cleaning and she came and sat down in the kitchen.  She was clutching her favorite monkey, Tiny, and she had this sad expression on her face.  It was obvious she was upset, so I asked what was wrong.  First, it was "nothing", then it was, "I don't know" (several times), and finally, as I was ready to give up asking, she says, "I feel like kids are avoiding me."  This after she had spent a couple of hours talking and hanging out with a couple of neighbor girls.  They had other things going on, so Aly was left on her own later in the day, and there was really no one else home today.  Sometimes, she is set by the boundaries of the neighborhood and doesn't think of picking up the phone.  The new friends are not that far away and can be picked up in a short time.  She just forgets to think outside the box sometimes.  Other times I think she worries, now, that she is going to do something to make these friends go away.  She still needs time to get over what happened recently.  It is still a fresh memory so it seems.

I hate seeing the worry and frustration.  I'm feeling like a failure, like I'm not doing all that I can to help her and keep her happy.  She is busy.  She has something going on every day of the week, but somehow all she keeps seeing is the quiet times when she is alone.  Me, being the major introvert, I like and cherish my alone time, so it is not easy for me to always sympathize.  I have dug every pre-teen/teenage problematic story out of my own life to give comparisons to her.  It is not an easy time for any kid.  I just wish I could figure out how to make it easier for her...    

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Aly is turning 12 on Thursday, April 11!  Happy Birthday to my sweet, courageous, hopeful, strong, super girl.  Your are a special girl, with an amazing spirit.  I hope that you have a great, great birthday.  My wish, for you, is to be happy.  Be happy with who you are, be happy with the traits that God gave you and use them to the best of your ability.  When life gets you down, remember how strong you've become and the courage it has taken for you to get through the tough times in the past, present and continue to use courage in the future.  I love you with all my heart!

 Happy Birthday Alyona!


I'm sorry I haven't written lately...it's been a tough couple of weeks.  It has nothing to do with Aly's health, she is doing good, health wise.  Emotionally, it's been tough.  Without going into specifics, and to respect privacy, I will just basically say it continues to be the friend thing.  She's had to let go of a friendship that's meant the world to her, through the cancer ordeal, but that friendship has been strained and seems to be no longer mendable.  It's truly unfortunate that it's come to the breaking point right in time for her birthday.  Sometimes I think she is going to start hating her birthday because bad things seem to happen around her birthday.  It was shortly before her birthday that she got her cancer diagnosis...This is just really bad timing.  Not only has it hurt Aly, it has hurt me as well, and I'm not understanding the actions of some.  Even though the cancer is gone, the healing process continues and will continue for quite some time and may never be completed.  I can only say that I would not wish cancer and the effects it has on those surrounding it, on my worst enemy.  Don't get me wrong, here,  we have had great support from family, friends and the community we live in.  That's not what I'm trying to say.  However,  we have found out how scared people are to communicate emotionally and honestly through a crisis like cancer.  They don't want to place any more burden on an already delicate situation.  As an adult, although it hurts, I can process it, make sense of it, begin to let go of it.  As a child, it doesn't make any sense.  It is just another reason to continue to isolate yourself.  It does bad things to the self-esteem.  It makes you wonder what is wrong with you.  That is what has been happening lately.
As a parent, all I can do is to continue to emphasis the good, start to try to steer in a different direction, focus on the positive, try not to show too much emotion and pile on all the parental type sayings, like, "if one door closes, another is going to open" or "sometimes if you are holding on too tight, you can't see what's waiting for you."  I've signed Aly up for many activities this summer.  A kids club at her middle school for June.  A camp for kids who have/or have had cancer in July, and a YMCA camp, to build leadership skills, in August.  I can only pray that she will make connections with new kids who will understand and build confidence.

Aly is in a girl's group, at school.  She's started to make friends with a couple of girls and has invited both to come to do a fun activity and eat out, on Friday, to celebrate her birthday.  I am going to try to foster these friendships, over the summer as well.  She also JUST got an unexpected phone call to play.  It is amazing how one little thing like that can change the world of a kid!  We'll see how these activities go...

Aly had her semi-annual eye exam with the eye specialist.  Her eyes remain stable.  He said her eye nerves are functioning the way they should, something about fluid draining properly, and although the nerves were damaged beyond repair and she will not regain the sight lost, they are stable and look good.  He also said Aly's eyes are working better together.  I'm not an expert, so I can't say what he really meant by this.  Aly has a tiny spot in the upper right eye, that she can see out of, if her left is closed.  She has to turn her head at odd angles to be able to see out of this spot, but what she can see was clearer than it was.  Unfortunately, it is really not helpful information because it is near impossible for her to find what she's looking at, with that eye alone.
After the appointment, we stopped and picked out new eyeglass frames and also ordered some prescription sunglasses.  She's had the transition lenses, but they do not give good protection, especially when riding in the car so we're going to try glasses and sunglasses.
Her health also remains stable.  She is due for an MRI in June.  The jaw locks are still on and off.  The hormone dosage still going good.  We are waiting for lab results of a blood test, to check levels, that was taken last Friday.    

Other than that, us Minnesotans are bracing for what is supposed to end in 8 inches of snow tonight and over the course of tomorrow.  The barometric pressure is haywire (I can tell by my headache).  The winds have been howling and the precipitation, which currently sounds like sleet, has just started.  Maybe Aly will get a snow day birthday!  Yeah, that stinks in mid-April! A better treat would be a string of hot days so we could open up her pool and swim!  As long asthe snow doesn't affect our birthday plans!

Thanks for checking in!  If you feel like it...please comment on the post and wish Aly a happy birthday!